I'm Not Enough

& maybe that's the point?

“You are enough.”

What does it even mean to be “enough?”

Enough for who? Enough for what? Enough compared to which version of myself - yesterday’s, tomorrow’s, or the one I’ve been inventing in my head since I was twelve?

I’ve always struggled with this phrase. As someone who truly has a passion for empowerment and the written word, it’s something I never really understood. Yet it’s something we literally see everywhere. On Instagram posts with pastel backgrounds. On coffee mugs sitting in the aisles of Target, painted on canvases in the home decor section. You hear it from therapists, friends, family, you name it.

The phrase itself is tricky. It’s meant to soothe, yet it still keeps us in the game of measuring. Maybe that’s why the phrase never sat comfortably with me. Because it assumes there’s some destination at which you’ll be whole, complete, finished. Because it assumes enoughness is the prize.

Don’t get me wrong - I do believe we are all inherently worthy. Because out of every possibility, every chance, every piece of matter that could have arranged itself differently, somehow, we were formed. Out of billions of years of chaos and chance, we are here, breathing, thinking, and reading these words.

That’s something we often forget. We forget how rare it is to exist. How unlikely it is that our hearts beat on their own, that we wake up every morning with another chance to try, to fail, to feel. We are human, and that alone is enough. The fact that we are finite, fragile, breakable, that’s what gives our lives value.

If our humanness makes us worthy, then we already belong.

Enoughness, though, is different. Enoughness implies measurement. It suggests a bar, a finish line, a standard you must reach to be adequate. “Am I enough yet?” is a question rooted in comparison - to society’s expectations, to your peers, or to the imagined self you thought you’d be by now.

That’s why the phrase “you are enough” can feel comforting on the surface but hollow underneath. It tries to collapse worthiness and enoughness into the same thing when, in reality, they’re not.

“Enough” isn’t a truth - it’s a moving target. And maybe the very point of being human is that you were never meant to hit it.

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Incompleteness As Proof Of Life

I truly believe it’s a beautiful thing to not be enough.

Reason number one: “enough” is a period at the end of a sentence.

But I am not a period. I’m a comma, an ellipsis, a continuation. I’m a draft in progress, constantly revising, constantly unfolding.

Would I still continue to learn, create, stretch, and evolve if I already satisfied every requirement of my existence? If I simply settled for this moment being “enough” for me, would I be closing the door on all the miracles still waiting to arrive?

And while I believe in gratitude for where I am, I also believe in the desire for where I’m going. Those two things don’t cancel each other out; they belong together. You can honor the ground beneath your feet, while still reaching for the horizon. You can celebrate this version of yourself, while knowing there are still versions waiting to be born.

To enjoy where you are is to practice presence. To reach for more is to practice possibility. The balance of being human is to hold both. To look at your life and say, this is good, while also whispering, and still, there is more in me.

And maybe that’s the sweet spot: gratitude without complacency and ambition without shame. To live inside being both thankful for now and curious about what’s next.

That’s what I’ve been thinking about lately. Maybe the real freedom comes not from finally reaching “enough,” but from realizing I was never meant to. To recognize that I am whole in my worth, deserving of all the goodness life has to offer, but partial in my becoming. To see that i’m already inherently sacred and valuable, but still incomplete; and that those two truths can coexist.

Because if our existence is proof of worth, then our incompleteness is proof of life.

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The Power of Connection

I truly believe it’s a beautiful thing to not be enough.

Reason number two: because it leaves space for others to step in, to meet us where we can’t meet ourselves.

We live in a society that worships self-sufficiency, as if needing nothing from anyone else is a sign of wholeness.

But what kind of life is that? If you never needed anyone, if you were always “enough” on your own, what would friendship mean? What would family be for? If we could give ourselves everything, why would we ever reach out, lean in, or allow another person to touch our lives? Our limits are not weaknesses, they are invitations. They’re the openings where love, friendship, and community find their way in.

Our not-enoughness is what makes connection possible. It’s the gap that invites someone else to stand beside us. It’s the reminder that we are not meant to live sealed off from one another, complete and untouchable, but open and permeable.

Think about it: the times you felt most held weren’t the moments you were strong enough to carry it all; they were the moments you couldn’t, and someone else chose to stand beside you. To not be enough is to leave room for relationship. To not be enough is to remember that life was never meant to be lived alone.

I want to believe that the gaps in us are not flaws to fix, but doorways into one another. That what I lack makes space for what you hold, and what you lack makes space for what I can offer.

If being human is about anything, it’s about this: not being everything alone, and instead becoming something greater together.

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Final Thoughts

I am worthy. Of love, happiness, self-acceptance, and of simply existing without needing to justify why I’m here. I am worthy of being held in my darkest hour, of being forgiven when I fall short, of beginning again even when I’ve broken what I thought was beyond repair. I am worthy not because of what I do, but because of what I am - a living, breathing fragment of the world around me, stitched together by the grace of God.

But I am not enough yet.

I honor this space I’m in, but I refuse to confuse it with the final chapter. I cherish where I stand, but I know life was written to keep moving.

I was made for becoming. For stumbling forward into the unknown. For breaking and rebuilding. For meeting people who awaken parts of me I didn’t know existed. For learning what it means to hold, to lose, and to love.

To not be enough is to always remain open to possibility, growth, and connection. It’s the space where another person can meet me, where life can take root, where longing keeps me alive to the wonder of what I don’t yet know.

I am worthy because I exist. I am not enough because I am infinite.

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With so much love always,

Nelly Maré | Serenity Scripts