Your Sensitivity Isn't The Problem (But This Is)
The art of not taking things personally.
A comment from a coworker. A text that felt cold. Someone’s tone in a meeting. By Thursday, you’re carrying around seventeen micro-interpretations of what that one person might’ve meant.
Your sensitivity isn’t the problem. I, myself, am a woman of bigggg feelings. But there’s a difference between having a sensitive heart and building entire narratives out of moments that were never about you.
Sensitivity becomes heavy only when it’s paired with self-blame, overthinking, or the belief that every shift in someone else’s tone must reflect something lacking in you.
But today, I’m here to tell you that 90% of the time, it isn’t even about you (that’s a good thing!). And once you realize that it isn’t about you, you can finally begin practicing the art of not taking things so personally.
Here’s how -
Release the idea that every mood you encounter is yours to interpret or carry.
Someone’s short with you, and your brain immediately starts the investigation: What did I do? What did I say? How do I fix this? But here’s what you’re missing - maybe they’re tired, maybe they’re anxious about money, maybe they got bad news, maybe they slept terribly, or maybe they’re overwhelmed by their own life.
Most often, you’re not the author of everyone’s bad days. People carry entire worlds inside them, past wounds, present anxieties, future fears, and sometimes those worlds press up against the surface in ways that have nothing to do with the person standing in front of them. You just happened to be there when the pressure needed somewhere to go. And mistaking this proximity for causation is how you end up exhausted, worrying about whether or not you were the reason for someone’s actions and/or mood.
So next time you’re taking a certain interaction personally, remember: it isn’t always evidence of something you did wrong. Sometimes people are just having a hard time, and it has literally nothing to do with you. Offer compassion if it feels right, and let them have their moment without absorbing it as yours.
Recognize that feedback about something isn’t a verdict on your self-worth.
“This needs more detail” doesn’t mean you’re incompetent. “That hurt my feelings” doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend. “This didn’t work” doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
When you take feedback personally (when you let it collapse into proof of your inadequacy), you can’t hear anything except the confirmation of your worst fears about yourself. The actual content of the feedback gets lost because you’re too busy defending against what you think it means about you.
Not taking things personally means maintaining the space between what you did and who you are. Think of feedback, constructive criticism, and opinions simply as information. It’s just data about a specific moment or a specific circumstance. It’s not a sweeping statement about everything you are. And when you can hold it that way, as information rather than identity, you can actually hear it. You can consider it. You can decide if it’s useful, if it resonates, and if it’s something you want to adjust.
Notice what old wound this is pressing on.
What’s triggering you?
Taking things personally isn’t really about the present moment; it’s about an unfinished story from years ago. One where someone’s mood meant you did something wrong. Where their distance meant you weren’t enough. Where their discomfort became your responsibility to fix. You learned that their feelings were yours to manage, and now you carry that belief into every room and every conversation.
That old survival strategy doesn’t have to be your life anymore. The part of you that learned to take everything personally was just trying to stay safe, stay connected, or stay loved. But safety doesn’t come from managing everyone’s perception of you. It comes from knowing you’re whole even when you’re misunderstood. Even when someone’s upset. Even when you can’t control how you land in someone else’s world.
Practice emotional neutrality before assuming emotional responsibility.
One of the quickest ways to stop taking things personally is to learn the difference between what happened and what it meant. Someone sighs, someone forgets to text back, someone looks distracted while you’re talking, and your mind rushes to assign meaning before you even have information. But neutrality gives you breathing room. It’s the skill of observing without immediately absorbing, of noticing the moment without concluding the story.
Emotional neutrality sounds like:
“I don’t know what this means yet.”
“Let me gather more context.”
“This might not be about me at all.”
When you let neutrality come first, you stop making other people’s micro-expressions, distractions, or energetic dips into proof that you’ve done something wrong. A sigh is just a sigh until you know otherwise. A delayed text is just a delayed text. A distracted look could mean a thousand things that have nothing to do with you. And holding space for that uncertainty, not rushing to conclusions, not filling the gap with your worst fears, is how you stop exhausting yourself with stories that were never true.
Final Thoughts
Peace isn’t found in managing everyone’s perception of you. It’s found in the moment you realize that most of what you’re taking personally was never personal to begin with. That people are operating from their own wounds, their own exhaustion, their own unfinished stories that have nothing to do with you. The freedom isn’t in being beyond criticism or universally loved. It’s in recognizing that you can be misread and still be whole. That someone’s reaction doesn’t define your worth. That you can be deeply sensitive without absorbing every shift in energy as evidence of your inadequacy.
This week, I want you to stand firmly in the truth that not everything you observe is a commentary on who you are. Let yourself separate what’s happening around you from what’s happening within you. When someone is short, distracted, irritable, or distant, let it belong to them unless you’re given a clear reason to hold it. This week, choose interpretation over assumption, intention over insecurity, and reality over the stories your fear tries to invent. Let your energy stay with you instead of scattering into every room you walk into.
That’s the real art of not taking things personally - staying rooted in what’s yours and releasing everything that never was.
Wishing you all a beautiful week ahead 🦋
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With so much love always,
Nelly Maré | Serenity Scripts